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Making the world a more fangirly place since 1993...
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Title: Tethered.
Author: Me, Laura. *waves*
Part: 1/1.
Pairings: John Grimes/Edward Grimes.
Rating: Nothing too bad, 12 to be on the safe side, I guess :)
Warning: Twincest. Unbearable amounts of fluff...
Disclaimer: Not real at all and if you got here by googling yourself/your twin brother, kindly GTFO. And I robbed the title from Elliot Minor (it doesn't really have much to do with the fiction apart from the line if you're walking through the cold, you shouldn't have to walk alone etc) because I have a death wish and Alex is likely to kill me for associating his band with Jedward so much :3
Dedications: Everyone from john_and_edward because they're awesome. *snuggles* if anyone not from there reads this, amagad you guys I couldn't resist, someone hit me with Failvies' python :(
Summary: A lifetime of memories build up to who John and Edward are today.
Author notes: This is my first time writing Jedcest (or any kind of 'cest. Poppin' ma taboo cherry~) so I hope it doesn't suck too hard. The end is really random, yeah, not sure where that came from. And Edward epic fails. He's such a victim ;)

When John and Edward Grimes were four years old, their mother wouldn't let them go to the park at the end of their road on their own in the winter. She would wrap them up in matching puffy coats, long scarves, gloves and hats pulled down over their ears to battle against the cold, while she sat proudly on a swing, watching and smiling as her sons tore around the park, screaming with laughter, identical smiles plastered over their faces. Their chubby fingers would grab at the pearly-white puff clouds that hung in the air when they breathed, their noses and cheeks tinged a pretty red.


Aged seven, John and Edward felt on top of the world because their mother finally allowed them to the park unaccompanied. John grabbed his twin's cold hand as they streaked down the icy hill, Edward's laughter ringing in his ears. He came to an abrupt stop but his twin was unprepared, feet sliding from underneath him, dragging John with him. They landed in a pile of skinny limbs as Edward bumped his head on the rough pavement.

Hot tears sprung to his eyes immediately but he bravely scrubbed them away. If their mother knew he had hurt himself, she would stop them from coming to the park alone and that would ruin John's fun.

"Edward?" asked John, removing himself from his brother's ribs, which had cushioned his fall. "Edward, are you okay?" He shuffled on his knees and helped Edward to sit up. "Shall I go and fetch mummy? You might have really hurt yourself!" His voice went high at the thought and his eyes widened in alarm.

Edward shook his head experimentally, his fingers seeking out the source of the pain. He swayed where he sat when a little bit of violent red came away on them, contrasting with his paper-pale skin. "John, I'm bleeding!" He panicked, wiping the blood on his jeans.

His twin's frenzy calmed John's mind and he gently removed Edward's fingers, patting them and placing them in his lap. Trying to remember what his mum always did, he leaned over his brother, hovering slightly before placing a tender kiss on the cut, cold lips meeting hot skin.

John pulled away, nervous eyes on his brother's face. "Is that better?" He asked, imitating his mother's warm voice.

Edward slowly blinked twice then smiled. "Yes. Thank you, John."

John folded his thin arms around his twin, smiling back. "Here, take my hat. That way, mummy will never find out."


The day the twins turned twelve, someone else was in their park. He was a big boy, double the size of the scrawny, pale boys and at least two years older. He pushed John over in the dirt, the smaller boy's slice of cake exploding on impact.

John inspected his scraped hands solemnly, his face whitening aside from the skin around his eyes turning dusky pink, a sure sign of fighting impending tears.

Edward's face contorted with rage and before John could tell him not to do anything silly, his twin had ran across the park and kicked out at the bigger boy's shins, with no regard to the fact he probably could have stepped on him. Edward aimed just a little too high and the boy doubled over in pain. "You're a big bully!" Edward informed him, his high voice angrier than John had ever heard it. "Leave my brother alone!"

After the other boy had left, his dignity in shreds, Edward ambled back over to John, picking up the cake he had abandoned on the park bench. He knelt down awkwardly beside his twin and proferred the slice, trying to hide his dirty hands and the crumpled napkin.

Edward lifted John's tear-streaked face with his free hand and asked, almost shyly: "would you like to share my cake instead?"


They were fifteen when John had the first of his 'great' ideas and suggested the twins share a stolen cigarette in the tiny park they had been coming to all their lives. He produced it, along with a shiny red lighter, from his jeans pocket carefully, the image of it reflected in Edward's cautious, wide eyes.

"Aren't they bad?" He asked, fidgeting nervously, not wanting to but willing nonetheless.

John giggled, giddy with excitement at the rebellion. "No, Kevin always has them. I got it from his room when he wasn't looking." He flicked the lighter experimentally, exclaiming in glee when a bright yellow flame leapt from it. Shielding the fire from the wind as he'd seen their older brother do many times, when he thought no one was looking, he lit the cigarette on his second try.

He fumbled around with it until it hung from his thin fingers, trying to copy the way they did it in the movies. Trying to hide the fact they were trembling slightly, he rose the cigarette slowly and carefully to his lips, not feeling the need to show off for his twin. The slight, white stick hung between his scarlet lips for a moment, Edward watching his perfect twin with wide eyes. John gracefully exhaled a long stream of furling smoke and smiled. "You try." He proferred the cigarette, twisting his arm round. Edward removed his eyes from his twin's lips, opting to gaze at it suspiciously.

John twitched the end impatiently and Edward, his eyes flickering between the safety of his brother and the uncertainty of the cigarette, leant forwards. John giggled as Edward's upper lip brushed against his own cold fingers, distracting his brother. Edward choked a little as the smoke filled his lungs, coughing. He pulled back as his eyes began to stream, his breath coming out in purple-grey folds. John laughed wildly, leaning forwards to stroke the moisture beneath his brother's eyes away.

"Stop fucking laughing." Edward pouted, turning away from his twin.

John flicked the cigarette away, sliding his arms around his brother's narrow waist, anchoring him to the spot. "It was pretty funny though." Edward didn't respond. John hummed contentedly in his brother's ear, licking the cold skin a little. Edward squirmed and batted him away, twisting in his arms. "Do you forgive me?" Edward ignored him still and John kissed his cheekbones, blowing softly in his face. The elusive giggle was finally elicited from the younger twin and John smiled.

Edward snuggled his head into the crook of John's neck, his breath tickling his shoulder. "Can we, like, never touch a cigarette again?"

John's only response was to tip his brother's chin up and softly press their lips together, because nothing could taste better than Edward, something he had learned from many stolen moments, piling up over years and years of time spent together, each more cherished than the last. "For you, darling, anything."


They were seventeen when they ran all the way from the house down to the park, a piece of white paper waving from John's hand like a flag, jabbering excitedly to each other at a mile a minute, their words merging and overlapping. Nobody else could understand them but who else would they want to understand them?

"Okay, okay!" John flung his legs over the bench, setting the paper proudly on the top. Edward hopped up the other side and sat with his feet next to John's legs. "Gimme a pen."

Edward dropped one in his brother's lap, scooting forwards to watch as he wrote, keeping up a monologue that his brother bobbed his head to. "Oh, my God, like, I can't believe we're actually auditioning for the X Factor!" His fingers absent-mindedly stroked the top of the official X Factor audition form. To think they were actually filing one in! He couldn't believe their luck. Imagine - this time next year he and his brother, from a tiny obscure Ireland town, could be superstars! Okay, unlikely, but two boys could dream, right?

The twins had always loved singing and dancing, everybody knew. From in their small, shared bedroom to the school talent show - anywhere they could pay tribute to the art of performance. They couldn't wait to get out there and show the country what they could do and hopefully win their hearts.

John signed their names at the bottom of the form with a flourish, not bothering to ask Edward to sign his own name. No one would ever know the difference anyway.

"This time next year, little brother, we're gonna be famous."

Edward squeaked with excitement, leaning forwards to hug his brother, misinterpreting the distance and pecking him on the lips instead. His fingers tightened on John's shoulder for a second before they simultaneously decided that this was okay. This had always been okay for them.

"We need to post this before the midday mail." John breathed before pulling his brother back towards him.


Edward dragged his fingers along the rusty gate of the park he and his brother had been coming to all their lives. It looked exactly the same as it always did in his memory. He idly drew patterns in the frosty snow before realising he'd traced 'J + E' and hastily pushing the snow off. It fell in lumps around his feet.

He winced as the gate squeaked open much too loudly, cutting through the crisp silence. He couldn't remember ever being in the park without his brother and was already finding it much too quiet.

He sloshed across the park, the melted snow sucking at his now iconic trainers, and took a seat on one of the swings. A lot had happened in the year since he'd last been in this very park. He drew his knees up onto the swing, hunching in on himself, becoming the introvert he'd kept so well hidden, the introvert that had been locked so far away yet fought back so easily given the opportunity. That tiny, pessimistic voice was always squashed by his brother's presence.

For how long he sat there, he didn't know. The air around had become pitch black and he could barely see in front of him. He stretched his legs, hearing the joints pop and wrapped his fingers round the chain links of the swings. The white of his skin glowed dully in the dark as he began to swing. It took a while for the ache in his muscles to die down yet he worked up steadily, flying higher and higher into the sky, watching his feet kiss the stars.

The metallic clinks were all that told Edward someone had sat down on the swing next to him. He didn't need to look to know it was his twin: anyone else would have spoken. John just kicked his legs out, keeping steady pace with him, kicking just as high, his trainers sparkling against the gloom.

After a while of violent swinging, Edward fell back, slowing to an eventual stop. He put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands and sighed heavily. The skidding sound to his right told him that John had done an 'emergency stop', the kind their mum always told them off for doing because it ruined the soles of their shoes.

John footsteps crunched across the gravel before he dropped down to Edward's eyeline, placing his hands on his twin's kneecaps. They stayed like that for a while, gazing into each other's eyes, John tracing little circles with the pads of his fingers.

"I'm scared, John." The sound was barely a whisper dropping accidentally from Edward's mouth. "So much could go wrong. What if someone found out about us? What if everything we've built was ruined? The fans would hate us - mum and dad wouldn't even be able to look us in the eye. We would lose everything. John, I'm scared." His trembling voice broke on the last word and his pain was John's pain, ripping through his chest, torn between two things that could not co-exist.

John expelled a breath he didn't know he was holding as his brother spoke. He was scared too: of course he was. Their future hung perilously. He gripped Edward's hands on his own, rubbing them slightly. His brother was slowly freezing to death in his worry. "But then everything we ever dreamed of could happen, too. It's, like, me and you against the world. As long as were together, little brother, we're, like, golden. Always."

"Do you promise?" Edward breathed.

John leant forwards to press a kiss to Edward's forehead, against the scar that he'd gotten so many year ago, falling in this exact place. The scar was always a couple of degrees cooler than the rest of his body, easy to find on the face that mirrored his own.

"I promise."


Title: The Queen Factor!
Author: Alex Davies LAURA.
Part: 3/?
Pairings: Alexander James Failvies/Edward Grimes omgomgomg please don't hurt me I come in peace (don't even try to explain this photo, it will just ruin it) , slight Alex/Ali Paul in the end I've changed the ending, suck it up, Ali! UNEXPECTED JOHN/ED MINTON, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?
Other characters: Teddy Hetherton, Dandy Hetherton and Ed Minton.
Rating: Gawd knows. I refuse to write sexytime with these two because omg it's Edward. So, like, 12?
Disclaimer: this is the most fictiony fiction ever invented. Seriously. Just look at the damn pairing...
Dedications: j_minor because she snorted when I talked about Edward groping Davies.
Summary: Alex is about to find out just what he's being missing on the X Factor...

If you haven't witnessed the incredible, life-changing, jizz-in-your-pants-worthy amazingness that is John & Edward, click here to fall in love

- 1 - 2 - 3 -

Ali surveyed Alex from the corners of his eyes with mild interest. He wondered idly if the skinny guitarist was likely to bounce right off his chair before John and Edward had even performed. By the looks of it, this was entirely possible. Alex’s previous enthusiasm had returned tenfold and had already resulted in the woman behind them getting royally pissed off. The ensuing argument was made all the funnier by Dan rubbing his hands together and announcing he’d give her the ‘old Hetherton charm’ and sort it out.

He gave her a smile and she’d accused him of being a paedophile and threatened to report him to security.

Just as Dan had finished terrorising semi-innocent females, the lights went down and Alex let out his loudest squeal yet. Ali could have sworn Simon shot them an alarmed look and (badly) resisted a giggle fit. Alex elbowed him in the ribs.

The pint-sized host had meanwhile popped onto the stage and introduced the show, leaving little blue-eyed, blonde-haired Welsh lush Lloyd to amble on. Presuming he could make his way there without directions.

“Oi, Dandy.” Ed leaned across Ali and Alex, whispering over Lloyd’s… singing. “You sure you’re not gonna have a burst of the paedo and rip your clothes off?”

Before Dan could think of a response (which could have taken a while: this is our very own blue-eyed, blonde-haired lad we’re talking about) Teddy cut in, eyes squinted in a grimace. “Never thought the day would come where I’d say this, dear brother, but don’t resist the urge.” His four bandmates stared at him with slightly disturbed expressions and Dan edged away. “Well, the sight of Little Dandy might distract him and shut him up…”

The five of them lapsed into loud giggles and this time it was Cheryl who whipped round and gave them a death stare. Seriously, if looks could kill, Elliot Minor would be no more.


The lads had to put up with a whole lot of Alex fidgeting, the last female finalist (lovingly nicknamed ‘the voice’ by her mentor. Perhaps memorising even a face was a bit much for her) bellowing out a random song and a genuinely concerned security guard coming over and asking whether Alex was having some sort of mild fit before it was finally time for what they’d all come to see. Well, what Alex had dragged them along to see.

Unfortunately, when Clumsy Twin appeared on stage, he didn’t trip up like he had last week but Ali had to admit they were kinda cute anyway, in their tight white suits and little Choose Life shirts, jumping up and down like… well, like Alex. Who was, at the present moment in time, practically about to simultaneously wet himself and come in his underwear, judging by the look on his face. In fact, Ali was on the verge on suggesting charging the stage with Alex himself…

Wait, what? Did Ali really just say that?

He’d been hanging around with Alex way too much.


The rest of the show flew by in a blur of Alex moaning again, this time about how damn bored he was. Attention span of the average doorknob, that one. This was quickly followed by Ed and Alex’s Xtra Factor appearance, which consisted mostly of “Oh. My. God. I love Edward. Have you seen his eyes? He’s awesome. John’s pretty cool too. They should win. Because they’re cool. And Edward’s awesome. I love it. They’re so entertaining. I could watch them all day. I sound like a pervert now. The drummer’s the only pervert in my band, seriously. You should check us out. Elliot Minor. Thanks. That was a shameless self plug there.”

Ed cut in halfway through because Holly was making serious ‘come save me. Now.’ eyes to someone side-stage. “No offence or anything but Alex is crazy. The music’s good though. Back to you, Holly!”
They’d made their escape backstage shortly after that and a long-suffering member of the X Factor crew took them to wherever the contestants were going to be hanging out. Probably just eager to get them the Hell out of there. Alex had bypassed excitement and now looked slightly pale and ill. He grabbed Ali’s hand in a death grip, halting all blood flow almost immediately. “Ali-Ali Paul, what if he doesn’t like me?”

Ali made to giggle but Alex’s white face told him the singer was being serious. “Alex. You have spent all week freaking out about this boy. It is Edward bloody Grimes. He is going to love you.”

Alex gave a little smile. “Because I’m totally hot, yeah?”

“No. Because you’re both clearly as retarded as each other.”

Before Alex even had a chance to whack Ali in the face for this completely untrue (well, maybe a little true) comment, the door was flung open and two blonde blurs came whizzing through, one leaping on Ed and the other flinging himself into Alex’s arms. “Hi! I’m Edward!” Blur One announced, grinning up at Alex.

“And I’m John!” Blur Two yelled, quite unnecessarily. “God damn you, Edward, you got us in, like, the total wrong order!”

“Shut up! I think I should go first for once. That would be, like, totally awesome.” Edward batted his eyelashes at Alex and Ali resisted the urge to throttle him. “Do you not think I should, like, go first, like, all the time?”

“But then our name would be, like… Ed…” John’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure it out. “Ed-ohn. Oh, my God, that is awesome! We should totally be called Edohn from, like, now on. You guys have to, like, spread the word.”

Ali sighed. “I’m gonna need a drink. And some aspirin.”

“Why? Are you, like, ill?” Edward asked, eyes big, still huddled against Alex’s chest.

Ali narrowed his own eyes. “No, but I feel a huge double headache coming on.”

Edward stuck his tongue out at him and focused all his attention back on Alex. “They, like, told us about you. Everyone’s been talking about you, like, all day, saying you’re, like, a total superfan.”

“Yeah! We totally appreciate it, you sound awesome. Alex Davies and Elliot Minor, right?” John was still hanging off of Ed, who surprisingly didn’t look like he was going to start complaining about this fact any time soon. Yet another great fallen to the charm of John and Edward, Ali thought bitterly.

Alex nodded, breathless and a little cross-eyed. Edward was all up in his face, smiling, talking a mile a minute and smelling totally gorgeous, if not a tad overpowering. Alex could see the chewing gum behind his back teeth.

Meet Alex Davies, taking paedophilia to a whole new level since… well, Dan.

“I totally love your shirt. It’s deadly! It’s kind of weird though because, like, we’re us but that’s us on your shirt and we’re, like, pink. Imagine if we, like, wore them. Then we’d be wearing ourselves! Would that actually, like, work?” A little crease appeared on his forehead as he contemplated this, before breaking out into yet another million dollar smile. “It would be, like, totally deadly either way!” Edward’s thin fingers were absently stroking the sides of the t-shirt and scrabbling around underneath it which also happened to be on Alex’s skin. Fuck.

Ali had his head in his hands. “I definitely need a drink.”

“That’s an awesome idea! We should go out drinking.” Alex’s voice had risen three or four octaves and Edward was still poking at his stomach.

He screwed up his face. “Me and John don’t drink, gawsh.” He looked over at his twin, who looked like he’d agree with anything Ed suggested.

“Come on.” Alex smiled nervously. “We’ll show you how Elliot Minor get this party started!” He paused. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

Edward thought for a second before giving another earth-shattering smile. Alex to knees, Alex to knees! Not the right time to be turning to jelly!

“Okay. I guess. But we can't drink or anything because, like, Louis might actually shoot us in the face and we're, like, totally good role models. This is gonna be, like, totally deadly!”


Title: The Queen Factor!
Author: Alex Davies LAURA.
Part: 2/?
Pairings: Alexander James Failvies/Edward Grimes omgomgomg please don't hurt me I come in peace (in these hard times, we need some silly Jedward faces to cheer us up. Edward is the slightly more normal looking one...) , slight Alex/Ali Paul in the end I've changed the ending, suck it up, Ali!
Rating: Gawd knows. I refuse to write sexytime with these two because omg it's Edward. So, like, 12?
Warning: THE 'J' WORD IS USED. YES, THAT'S RIGHT. I USED THE WORD 'JEDWARD'! Extreme Failvies and Bitchy!Ali.
Disclaimer: thank your lucky stars I own none of these boys.
Dedications: my dearest, darlingest It, [info]j_minor and [info]chasingdiamonds because they were on hand with the moral support during my little breakdown when Jedward went out! And my twinnie Soph because OMG GURL WE'RE MEETING JOHN & EDWARD ON FRIDAY!!! And probably John & Edward themselves because my boys may have been kicked off the X Factor but their dream still remains best of luck in the future, boys. If you happen to stumble across this... stop reading, like, right now. And stop googling Edward, John.
Summary: Alex is about to find out just what he's being missing on the X Factor...

If you haven't witnessed the incredible, life-changing, jizz-in-your-pants-worthy amazingness that is John & Edward, click here to fall in love

- 1 - 2 - 3 -

"Alex Davies, have I ever told you just how much I hate you?" Ali Paul shivered viciously and snuggled deeper into his purple hoodie, tightening the scarf draped round his delicate neck. Alex always said he looked like a cross between a Go:Audio fan and a terrorist when he wore that ensemble but whatever, when it was between that and freezing to death, Ali would choose the former every time.

Alex flashed him a rare, full-blown grin, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Many a time but I know it simply masks your blind adoration for me. Where is the bloody train, Ali?! Make it come faster!"

"That's what she said!" Dan loomed up from... whatever he'd be doing (Ali would rather not know, always the wisest course of action), his arms full of assorted chocolate bars and a newspaper which he tossed to Alex. "Your boyfriend's on the front." He explained, shrugging when Alex raised an eyebrow. Dan wasn't best known for his reading skills.

Ed Minton sighed and flicked his blue-black shock of hair from his eyes as Alex ripped the paper open. His best friend's crazy obsessions always lasted a couple of months before fizzling out and Ed knew from experience it was best to just allow yourself get dragged along with the madness. Which is why he'd found himself in this very position far too many times. "Someone cop hold of Alex before he floats away." He remarked drily, eyes on his best friend, who'd progressed to hugging the photo of Edward to his chest.

"Or falls onto the train tracks..." murmured Teddy, eying them apprehensively and moving to grip the back of Alex's jacket.

Alex had got onto the phone to Gary the moment the X Factor had finished, begging the manager to try and blag them tickets to the show - passing it off as good publicity for the band rather than wanting to bone one of the contestants senseless. And lo and behold, Gary came up trumps three days later, presenting them with 5 tickets to the live show and, even more amazingly, an invite for Alex and Ed to appear on the Xtra Factor. The squeals of joy that Alex had let escape when he found out had left the manager's ears ringing for at least another three days and, honest to God, he'd had to restrain the over-excitable lead singer from jumping on and kissing him.

Which probably wouldn't have been a pleasurable experience for either.

So that was why, a week after Alex had discovered his crush on a certain blonde, Irish twin, his four unfortunate band members had been roped into his crazy scheme to pull said twin, freezing their balls off and waiting for a train to London. The five of them only had four tickets between them, mind - Dan's conductor-avoiding skills were, er, best avoided. Aforementioned lead singer was currently bouncing around the station wearing an eBay bought, home customised pink John & Edward tee shirt and screaming at innocent pedestrians that he was going to "meet his future boyfriend".

Sorry, who was Alex Davies again? Yeah, Ali had never met him either.

The train handily pulled into the station just in time to prevent Ali from pushing Alex onto the train tracks himself (the older boy had begun a chant of "we're gonna meet Je-e-edward!" and Dan, bless his dippy little heart, was enthusiastically joining in). Alex nearly wet himself with excitement and pranced his way onto the train practically before the doors had slid open, nearly decapitating several small children with his flailing limbs as he went. Ed, Ali and Teddy exchanged looks that clearly said this is gonna be a long, long day... before reluctantly following suit. Dan sang "we're gonna meet Jedward" under his breath and wandered on after.

Away with the fairies, that one, thank the Lord.


Six hours, a £20 fine (guess whose conductor avoiding skills weren't as good as they thought?), a ridiculous amount of food and 3 hours of Alex and Ali not talking later (the keyboardist had reached the end of his tether and, let me assure you, it wasn't pretty), the boys had made their grand entrance into London.

Alex screamed loudly in exhileration and grabbed Ali's hand, their earlier argument apparently forgotten, plunging them both into the writhing crowds of the London Underground. Yeah, not one of the best ideas he'd ever had. They were both promptly swallowed by the jostling sea of people and, for one wild, freefalling moment, Ali's world was elbows shoved high in his ribs, Alex's hand warm in his, the singer's melodious laughter echoing in his ears and his silver-blue eyes sparkling mischeviously in front of him.

And then Teddy grabbed his arm and Alex let go and, well, Ali kind of missed his hand when it wasn't in his own. And then he kind of shook himself and Teddy was calling them 'dumb fucks' but he was laughing too so Ali kind of passed his disorientating feelings off as Alex's enthusiam being too darn contagious.

He realised then Ed was staring at him funny - funny even for him. Apparently his little... moment earlier hadn't been missed. Darn those all-seeing eyes. Eager to deflect them because, frankly, Ed was weirding him out, Ali asked probably much too loudly, "so, Father Ted, where to now?"

"We-ell," Teddy frowned at the nickname before whipping out a crumpled map and consulting it for a few seconds. It was no wonder he was perceived as the father figure of the group, really. Ali couldn't even tell when a map was upside-down, let alone read it with such ease. "We have to get another tube and then there'll be a bit of a walk before we get to the studio and -"

"And then I jizz my pants when we meet Edward!" squealed Alex at the top of his lungs, eliciting a few dirty looks from random passers-by. He crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue: a classic Alex reaction. Ali hoped everyone would just think Alex was crazy or something and his four bandmates were his minders and oh, my God, was it just Ali or had Alex just grabbed his hand again? And he'd begun staring at him really oddly too... what was with everyone dong that today? Or was Ali being paranoid?

Dan, of course, ruined the moment completely by yelling "hope you brought some spare underkeks, 'Lex, or there's no way he's getting in your pants!" and shoving Alex over, breaking the contact between him and the keyboardist. By the time the ensuing playfight was broken up, Ali had oh-so-slyly wandered over next to Ed and was taking more interest in Teddy's map than was deemed sane by anyone. And definitely not looking over at Alex.

The day's excitement really must be getting to him because Ali wasn't entirely sure that the feeling Alex's gaze gave him was altogether normal.


"My feet hurt!" Alex whined for the thirty seventh time that hour (Dan was counting). Ali was seriously on the verge of bitchslapping him to Hell and back because they were all tired, cold and, thanks to an impromptu rain shower some time earlier, uncomfortably damp. Alex's unrelenting enthusiasm was drifting every so often to flat out moaning and it was hard to tell which was more annoying. Ali was resorting to countering the mood swings with "but Edward..." just to see Alex's smile.

There was no doubt about it: Teddy had gotten them hopelessly lost. He needed to be sacked as band father. Demoted to band older brother in the very least...

"Alex." Ed growled, the sound low in his throat. "I swear to God, if you do not shut up right now, your feet hurting will be the least of your worries..."

"Whoa, whoa, calm down, ladies! Don't make me confiscate your handbags." Teddy joked. "Look, told you I'd get us here in one piece! That's the studio right there, at the end of the road."

Alex squeaked in excitement and took off, his long legs flailing and slipping on the road. "Race you there, losers!" He screamed over his shoulder. Ali followed suit, the pair's laughter snatched in the wind. Ed rolled his eyes, tossed his scarf over his shoulder and waddled after them.

Teddy turned to his younger brother, his fond smile dropping a bit at the look of confusion on the blonde's face. "What's wrong, Dandy?" he asked.

"Oh... nothing... I just kind of expected the studios to be red and sparkly... and, well... a little more gay. This is the studio of John and Edward, after all!"
Title: The Queen Factor!
Author: Alex Davies LAURA.
Part: 1/?
Pairings: Alexander James Failvies/Edward Grimes omgomgomg please don't hurt me I come in peace (the fit one in the white shirt. I know they're twins but he's damn fine) , slight Alex/Ali Paul in the end.
Rating: Gawd knows. I refuse to write sexytime with these two because omg it's Edward. So, like, 12?
Disclaimer: thank your lucky stars I own none of these boys.
Dedications: my dearest, darlingest It, j_minor, because, well, she encourages my John & Edward spazzing and talks about weird stuff like prodding and doing the Hokie Cokie with them. And it was probably her fault I wrote this. And she came up with the title because she's a fool awesome cool. And the rest of the TMS because no doubt they'll hurt me for this. A lot. Especially chasingdiamonds. And probably John & Edward themselves because, erm... God help them. And YOU.
Summary: Alex is about to find out just what he's being missing on the X Factor...

If you haven't witnessed the incredible, life-changing, jizz-in-your-pants-worthy amazingness that is John & Edward's Under Pressure performance on the X Factor, not only have you not lived but you must click here, like, right now.
Oh oh oh and please vote for John & Edward on 0901 61 611 03 because they make my Saturday nights better and I love them and they have to win and all that shizz

- 1 - 2 - 3 -

"Ali-i-i-i-i-i..." Alex Davies whined as he plonked himself down on the sofa, flinging his wiry arms around aforementioned male and fluttering his eyelashes in what he evidently thought was a cute manner.

Ali Paul shrugged out of his best friend's tight grip, his eyes remaining glued to the telly. "Fuck off." He replied, lovely as ever. "Have you got something in your eye?"

"But Ali, I'm bo-o-o-o-o-ored! It's, like, your job to entertain me!" Alex's thin fingers reached teasingly for the television's remote control, though he knew Ali would possibly decapitate him, castrate him and then feed his balls to Dan if he dared even press the 'select' button.

Right on cue, Ali whipped round, eyes full of fire. Alex visibly recoiled. Only a few things could provoke the wrath of the devil in Alistair Andrew Paul and disrupting the X Factor was up there with stealing the last bite of kebab. "Alex Davies, if you dare even touch that damn remote, I will shove it so far up your skinny little arse that when I wanna change the channel, I'll just have to prod you in the stomach really, really hard."

Alex, being the wise man that he is, knew this probably wasn't an empty threat so simply pouted and slumped back on the sofa, occasionally throwing glances at the wannabes mincing about, bawling on screen and thrusting about on the lighty-up stage. Pah. Alex didn't get a lighty-up stage. Not that he hadn't asked. The third time he looked up, a guy with hair bigger than his own in the morning was bowling about the stage, flinging the camera moody glares. "Hey, Ali-Ali! He looks like you! Maybe that's what Elliot Minor's missing, a guy with an afro. Shall I kick you out the band and get him instead?"

Ali's eyes barely even flickered. "Fuck you, Alex. Have I ever told you I hate you?"

"No, I only ever get proclamations of love from you, Ali-Wali, you big gay."

Ali smirked but his fingers twitched threateningly towards the remote control and Alex once again lapsed into silence because, well, he kind of liked his butt the way it was. Him being quiet lasted, amazingly, for 20 minutes (well, this is Alex Davies), save for the stray "this is so-o-o-o-o lame, Ali!"s and "I'm dying, Ali! Dying!"s (complete with bugging eyes and a lolling tongue because Alex was nothing if not a drama queen). Neither elicited a response from the keyboardist so Alex continued to pick his nails/die dramatically on his own. Sometimes Ali was just no fun.

That was until the second to last act exploded onto the stage and Alex really did fall off the sofa in shock and surprise. Two blonde twins had taken the stage (and his attention), bursting through a screen clad in tight, shiny silver suits. Whilst one of them effortlessly spun into their dance routine, the other's foot spun from underneath him and he nearly dived head-first across the stage. Boy after Alex's own heart, much?

Ali spluttered with laughter at his unfortunate slip-up. "Oh, look, Davies, it's you! Falling over his own freakishly large feet, pfft, what a twat."

"Who are they?" Alex asked, his eyes trained on blonde boy as he caught his twin's eye and let loose a manically megawatt grin that had Alex literally on the floor again, not least because Ali had got annoyed with him and pushed him off the sofa. Ali rolled his eyes and sighed in a rather over-the-top manner, if you asked Alex. Which no one ever did. Ali narrowed his eyes at the screen as the way-too-energetic, perhaps high-on-sugar twins launched into an earsplittingly... interesting rendition of Queen's Under Pressure. Alex scrunched up his forehead. So, the twins clearly weren't singers but damn him to Hell if he wouldn't put up with it to see more of Clumsy Twin in those tight trousers...

Ali was talking again and Alex had to struggle to tune out the twins, who had progressed to screeching out some kind of rap at about 90 miles an hour whilst shaking their thangs across the stage in a way never seen before. This all made for a very uncomfortable pressure in Alex's own trouser department. "They're John and Edward Grimes, Christ, Davies, where have you been?" Ali didn't wait for Alex's answer before continuing. "They've been causing huge outrage across the country... twincesty weirdos can't sing or dance but they've got through to the finals... they're making a mockery out of the X Factor! Do they not realise how serious business it is?! That fit girl went out to them... cor... wouldn't have minded poking her with my kebab, if you know what I mean..."

Alex knew better than to interrupt Ali whilst he was on an X Factor rant (pity the fool who didn't) so just drew his knees to his chest and focused on not jizzing in his pants like a teenaged fangirl. It was proving spectacularly difficult. He watched as Clumsy Twin (was it John? Or Edward? Or maybe Alex should just call him 'library book' because he just couldn't stop checking him out... ooh, cheesy) bounced across to his brother, having successfully completed his performance in one piece. From the euphoric smile on his face, he was just as pleased as Alex was.

Other Twin flung an arm round Clumsy Twin's shoulder as the short little Leprachaun host dude wandered over and began to talk to them. Alex had never paid more attention to anything in his life. He nearly dribbled when Clumsy Twin grinned cheekily and promptly began chattering excitedly right over his brother. Alex smiled. Fuck it, the voice coming out of him! The soft Irish lilt was nearly enough to make him run down to London right now and mount him on live TV.

Alex was so going to Hell.

"Al." Alex cut across Ali's in-depth, one-sided conversation about 'the disaster that is John and Edward' (pah). "Which twin is which?"

Ali's brow furrowed before he took in the hearts that were practically turning Alex's eyes lusty pink. "Oh. My. God. Are you getting a touch of Dandy about you? They're, like, 18, you sick fu-"

"Ali. Hey, Ali! Just shut up and tell me which one's which! Who's the one with the gorgeous smile?"

"He's Edward... dare I ask why?"

Alex grinned. "Because, dear Alistair, we're going on a blonde Irish twin hunt." When Ali looked horrified, Alex pouted. "Come on, Ali, it'll be fun! Like a little Elliot Minor holiday..."

Well, if Alex was going to Hell, Ali and the rest of the band were coming along for the ride (oo-er)...
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